You Really Can Be Your Own Best Friend

by Amy on February 20, 2013



It’s the recognition that we fit, that we’re a part of something. That we matter. As my mom used to say, “Amy, everybody just want’s to be part of.”

It’s not a luxury, it’s not self-indulgent, or frivolous.

It’s a biological drive.

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, if we can’t get the drive met, we don’t do well. We get sick. We don’t get out of bed. Our creativity shuts down, so does our ability to problem solve or be spontaneous.

Human beings need LOVE. We need to get it and we need to give it.

Take the Tend and Befriend response. This human biological response to stress often gets overshadowed by the fight or flight response in conversations about self help.

Yes we humans flip the finger, and we check out, sometimes mentally sometimes geographically, when things take a turn for the worst.  But just as often, we affiliate. We join together in our fear and desperation. We give free hugs, we dance and sing together in mass flash mobs, we offer food, we provide encouragement, comfort, warmth, hope.

The more I focus on the incredible human capacity for LOVE, I see evidence of it everywhere.

I see it on the airplane when two strangers strike up a conversation,

I see it when a big brother hugs his little sister goodbye at school,

I see it in the grocery store when a man touches his wife on the back,

I hear it at a restaurant – friends laughing hysterically over who knows what…

And most of all, I feel it, in my own heart.

LOVE is everywhere, all around us, all the time. And it’s in you. It’s written in your DNA. It’s a part of your nature.

Which is why I have to remind you…

You’re 100 percent capable of befriending yourself, offering YOU compassion, friendship and love.

You’re 100 percent capable of befriending yourself, offering YOU compassion, friendship and love. If you don’t believe it’s possible, look around you. Each time you witness the human capacity for love, let it remind you of your own innate capacity for self -compassion.

It’s there.

You just have to recognize it.

Where did you see evidence of the incredible human capacity for LOVE today. Please share in the comments section below because I LOVE that.


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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan February 24, 2013 at 12:19 am

Today I saw my son come to pick up my grandson after work. My son had been on his feet all day in a fast food restaurant. My grandson was tired from romping with me all afternoon. My son picked up my grandson and held him close and gave him a kiss and carried him out to the car. It was beautiful.


Amy March 5, 2013 at 10:53 pm

I just love this Susan! Thank you so much for sharing! Airports and school pick ups are the best places for this kind of thing don’t you think?


Denee May 9, 2013 at 1:33 am

At around 3pm today my son’s cat was lounging in my lap when my son came home from school. The first thing he did when he came home was walk over and wrap his arms around the cat gently and lay his cheek on her head. There were 6 other kids playing that he had been waiting to return to, but his number one choice was to show love to his cat. —– I own a daycare so I see little bits of love daily— a third grader picks up a bottle for the baby and takes it over to me after the baby threw it in the dirt, my son hugs and waves goodbye to everyone when he gets on his bus, a preschooler takes a toddler’s plate to the sink in the kitchen for him, someone turns on the sink for the little girl who can’t reach the handles, and on it goes!


Amy March 30, 2015 at 7:32 pm



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