The Thing that Nobody Wants to Talk About

by Amy on June 24, 2014

Elephant

When I was in high school I wanted to run for Student Body President. Probably for the wrong reasons (cough. Approval Addict!) But whatever…

The problem was that Nate Aina was running. Nate was the nicest, most popular guy in school. Everyone (EVERYONE) loved him.

So even though I wanted to run for Student Body President, I didn’t. I was too busy…what with dance line and tennis and all the other crap I was doing…

It’s true, I was definitely too busy. Which is why that EXCUSE worked so well. It was believable. To me. To everybody else.

I really didn’t want anyone to know the real truth:

I was scared to lose against Nate Aina. I knew it was possible so I didn’t even try.

There’s an elephant in the room, people.

Nobody’s talking about it… No one wants to say it out loud…

But here it is:

Your success is directly – DIRECTLY – linked to your willingness to get uncomfortable.

I’ll say it a different way… The only way to make money and be of service in your own unique way (or whatever success looks like to you) is to do shit that scares you.

I still regret not running for Student Body President. I. Didn’t. Even. Try.

But this is what we do…

We come up with diversions to “excuse” us from the Real Work. The work that deep down we never ever feel ready for, the work that forces us to draw a line in the sand between who we were and who we want to be…

And we stick to what we know.

We play volleyball.

We resize our logo.

We stay home with the kids.

In short, we reject ourselves out of fear that someone might see us stepping awkwardly into this new role that doesn’t quite fit (yet) and say,

“Who does she think she is?”

“What a fool for ever thinking she could pull that off?”

“Idiot.”

…and then, having failed, we’ll sit there alone marinating in shame.

But the truth is you already did it to yourself.

Sure you spared yourself that particular variety of rejection (the kind that might not have ever happened), but you still suffered it between the ears. You denied yourself an opportunity to step into the future version of you.

But the only way to the future version of you is through and NOT around. [Tweet that!]

You have to do what scares you to get there.

The alternative is to marinate in the discomfort of knowing that you never gave yourself a chance.

But don’t blame it on “too busy” and let yourself believe that.

At least make it a conscious choice.

I wish someone would have told me that in high school.

How to do what’s Scary to Succeed:

  1. Accept discomfort. There will never be a time when it won’t be scary to step into the future version of you. Stop waiting to feel comfortable and just move through the discomfort.
  2. Get support. Don’t try to do it alone. Be militant about who you let into your circle. Make sure you have people in your life you can turn to for support and inspiration when you’re doing the scary shit you need to do to grow.
  3. Take care of yourself. Moving through discomfort is, well, uncomfortable. Once you’re on the other side of it, rest assured, it gets much better! But until then, make sure to do everything you can to bring in a lot of joy to counter balance all that scary stuff. Take a hot bath. Buy flowers. Do yoga. Watch your favorite show.

Now it’s your turn! What’s something you want to do? What’s one scary thing you know you’ve got to do to get there? Please share! I LOVE hearing from you!

And if you’ve been resizing your logo for the past 2 hours…I hope you’ll join me for…

Mind Clutter Sucks

Sign up here  < = it’s no cost!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolina June 24, 2014 at 5:06 pm

I really want to change my career from doing stuff I don’t much care about, toward being a life coach. I’m scared to attempt it, for all the normal excuses: money, knowledge, fear of failure, and I often lack stick-to-it-iveness (my own special words) :). Honestly, I don’t know where to start.

Reply

Amy June 26, 2014 at 9:37 pm

Well scared is a great place to start. Once you take the leap, the answers do tend to come I have found. Hope you join me for my class on Saturday. I think you’ll find it inspiring!! xoxo

Reply

Sandra June 27, 2014 at 3:38 am

I just got a rejection letter from a children’s book publisher and am actively working on a much larger fantasy book. It made me feel quite low. But I have realized that I can only continue to work at the job I am in now if I keep trying to move into the one I want. I am almost finished my Fantasy novel first draft and I have loved writing it.

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