3 Things to Do When Your Soul Demands Inconvenient Change

by Amy on December 31, 2014

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Work — my passion, my calling, one of my greatest joys — hasn’t been feeling so joyful for a while. Months.

Logically this makes no sense.

I have the most incredible clients on the planet.
I absolutely love my team.
I actually help people and get paid for it.

What is off? What is wrong?? These questions whirled around in my head.

So I got coached… I consulted a medium, then an astrologer, then a person who channels spirits, then an intuitive.

I kept looking outside of myself for an explanation.

And the entire time this part of me, on the inside, kept screaming noooooooo!

But I didn’t want to listen to that part of me. I didn’t appreciate the screaming. And I didn’t like it bothering me… I have too much to do for this “no” bullshit.

The “no” I was getting, you see, was highly inconvenient to me at this juncture in my business.

I just joined a mastermind, at a substantial financial investment.
I just mapped out an entire year of launches.
I just added a new person to my team.

But the part inside me shouting didn’t care about the money I’d lose or the people I’d let down.

Apparently, this part of me screaming “no” just wants space, quiet, and time to play.

I tried to barter with it, hoping it would be okay if I just let go of a few things.

It quieted down for a few weeks but started complaining AGAIN.

And then I realized…

Sometimes the “Brazen” thing to do doesn’t seem that brazen at all, on the outside. [Tweet That!]

I admitted to myself the truth that I didn’t want to face…

Dammit!

I want to knit!
I want to garden!
I want to read!
I want to take my son to soccer!
And color with my girls!

Fuck!

So I write this to you today, humbled. In total defeat. To say I have, finally, swallowed my pride.

I made some uncomfortable phone calls. I talked to my husband. I created an exit strategy. (I’m still going to be writing to you. My soul says it’s okay.)

And now the screaming is gone and there is a part of me inside smiling with anticipation. Beaming, really.

So, if you can relate, here are…

3 Things to Do When Your Soul Demands Inconvenient Change:

  1. Listen. Most of the time we do the opposite. When our soul is screaming no, we feel this as dissonance in the body — an uncomfortable feeling of “Shackles On” that may not make a bit of sense. After all, on the surface, everything looks great, right? But the longer you keep stuffing it down, the longer you’ll suffer (and make everyone around you suffer). As scary as it seems, you’ve got to pay attention.
  2. Act. Do the scary thing. Incrementally if you must. But do something to appease your soul. Notice how the mind fights back by offering you one worst-case scenario after the next to keep you from making even the slightest change. Just remind yourself that your brain is doing its thing. Then make the change anyway.
  3. Trust. There’s no way to teach you this one. You’ve got to learn this through experience. If you have enough ovaries to get this far, here’s what you’ll find out: things turn out fine. Way better than fine. In fact, you learn, you do have a choice, you do have the ovaries and the Universe will always rise up to meet you.

And now it’s your turn. Is your soul as pushy as mine? How do you cope with the bossiness?

 

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynn January 1, 2015 at 4:54 am

That is the most brazen. Yay you!

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Amy January 1, 2015 at 10:09 pm

Thanks Lynn!!

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Susan January 1, 2015 at 7:50 pm

Congratulations! Not on the illnesses, owies, and uncomfortable process, but the outcome. Good for you! I journaled this precise thing this am! A lot of it has to to with Expectations of ourselves and those of others. Disappointing people sucks. But, worse: “If I am no longer ______, what is my value?”

Seth Godin’s blog post today, ” Used to be….” about evolution and transformation:

“Perhaps you used to be hooked on keeping score, or used to be totally focused on avoiding the feeling of risk, or used to be the kind of person who needed to be picked…

“Used to be,” is not necessarily a mark of failure or even obsolescence. It’s more often a sign of bravery and progress.

“If you were brave enough to leap, who would you choose to ‘used to be’?”

I used to be a Nurse, now I’m launching a small business manufacturing all natural, small batch, ‘high value’ dog treats! For too long, I didn’t Listen. I didn’t Act. I didn’t Trust. Now, I do and it’s so much easier.

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Amy January 1, 2015 at 10:08 pm

Love that Susan. Thanks for sharing Seth’s post. I’m open and curious about the whole thing xoxo

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Virginia January 2, 2015 at 3:37 am

You will feel so much better doing the things that are crying out for you. Enjoy and don’t worry about what you ‘gave up’ because those things needed to be set aside – at least for now. Postponing and deliberately de-committing is a sign of courage for standing up for yourself.

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Vikki January 2, 2015 at 3:24 pm

Amy,
Thank you for sharing this! I’m going through the same thing, so the timing for me reading it could not be better.
Enjoy your rest time!

Reply

Nathalie January 2, 2015 at 8:25 pm

Soooooo me! I almost always feel melancholy when I ignore the screaming of my soul. I tought that I had some sort of season depression going on. Except that it always whent away if I juste did something that excites me (like scroling Pinterest, scrapbooking, writing…. Usually something artistic), so hey! I gave myself the permission to explore my crafty side regularly now… I’m doing everything else more peacefully.

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chris January 2, 2015 at 10:18 pm

as Martha says, cave early. My 2014 was rest and play and rest. a lot of time with my kid and my garden and some books. This year feels different already!

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Jean January 5, 2015 at 5:11 pm

Hi Amy,

Just want to echo the previous comments and say Yay you! The truth lies inside as your yoga is revealing and as you get clearer it gets harder to ignore! So awesome!

Reply

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