I just got back from a week in Costa Rica doing yoga with a bunch of people in recovery from addiction.
Tommy Rosen, in his new book, “Recovery 2.0,” defines addiction as the habit of doing the same thing over and over again despite negative consequences.
So before you write yourself off… ask yourself: what do you do over and over again despite negative consequences…
Maybe it’s sugar. Too much Facebook? Checking your email at every red light? Those late night shopping sprees after a few glasses of wine?
It’s been almost 13 months since my last drink.
But each day since, I’ve religiously consumed a $6 triple shot latte. On particularly stressful days I eat a large container of dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joes (within 48 hours). I am that obnoxious woman checking her phone at every light. And since the wine went away, I have to tell you my wardrobe has expanded considerably.
When I decided to join Tommy and a bunch of other addicts for a week of yoga in Costa Rica, these were the questions buzzing around in my mind…
If joy is my natural state then why is it so hard to access?
Why is it so much faster to source from a glass of red, a peanut butter cup, a hit of praise? Nothing against red wine, peanut butter cups or praise, BUT where the fuck is this wellspring of joy that the enlightened ones talk about? [Tweet that!]
What if there was an immediate source of joy that didn’t raise my cable bill or make my face break out or leave me wired?
What would happen if I took away all the quick fixes? Would I find the true source of joy? Is it really possible for me to find this “pharmacy of the soul” that Tommy writes about? What kind of life could I have? What kind of life could I give to my kids? What kind of legacy could I create?
“And now yoga…”
The first line of text in the first book of the Yoga Sutras. Not even a complete sentence. But how could Pantanjali justify a period? So much possibility radiates from that single enigmatic fragment.
When nothing else works… Not the peanut butter cups. Not the wine. Not the new dress or the shoes. No amount of compliments. Not even the five or six figure launch. Not the standing ovation. No amount of uppers or downers, stimulants or barbiturates…
And now yoga…
I was riding in the back of a truck full of tourists last week. We had just spent a day zip lining through the Costa Rican rain forest. Swimming in waterfalls. Gliding 100 feet above the forest canopy.
Sitting in the back of the truck ducking branches, feeling the warm breeze, seeing butterfly after butterfly, someone from another group shouted, “I’m ready for a margarita!” The rest of his group agreed.
And the old me would have loved to end a day of zip lining with a margarita or two or three or four.
But this me, the one dodging branches as she sailed down the hill, sweaty and stinky, in the back of a crowded truck full of tourists, didn’t even remember to think about margaritas.
On the way home now, we were stopped outside a convenience store. Somebody wanted to grab something. I watched them going into the store and thought, “Well we’re here so I might as well go in and grab something too…”
And then I stopped.
Sitting in the van alone with my thoughts, I realized something amazing. A miracle, really:
I didn’t want for a thing.
In that moment I knew the truth about me:
I have enough.
This moment is enough.
I am enough.
And then I felt it.
Click here to learn more about Tommy Rosen and Recovery 2.0.