I’m not one of those people who “hates” Facebook.
I’ve never taken a break from Facebook.
I don’t take down my account only to put it back up a few months later…
I’m not worried that Facebook is threatening the social fabric of our society.
I actually really like that Facebook exists.
I like connecting with people online, all in the same place.
Finding lost friends.
Seeing pictures of people.
Sharing my life on there.
But Facebook has been bringing up my shit.
The newsfeed fills me with a sense of dread.
Certain posts make me cringe and leave me feeling deflated.
If I’m honest, it’s been going on for months.
I came across a healing modality called Ho’oponopono introduced to me (ironically) by an astrologer I learned about through a post on Facebook.
To dramatically oversimplify, the idea is to say the following whenever you feel bad:
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Everything, according to Ho’oponopono, we experience as painful in our environment is our responsibility. Every. Thing.
It’s really our memories that we hold on to that become the things we experience as painful in our environment.
Or – get this — even the pain others experience that we bump up against (A humbling thing to admit if you consider yourself a healer. It means we healers got a lot to heal in ourselves to be attracting so many people who need our help).
It’s our responsibility to dissolve any of the memories that cause pain.
I’ve been listening to an inner child meditation over the past week. “The inner child” according to Ho’oponopono is our unconscious. It’s the unconscious or inner child that holds on to the memories that cause pain in our environment.
If you want to dissolve the memories that cause pain for you and others, you have to get right with your inner child.
Acknowledge it. Give it love. Apologize for neglecting it all these years and even all these lifetimes.
I struggle with inner child stuff.
I don’t see how I’ve been that “bad” to her. I’m a life coach for christ sake. I know she’s there.
So why is she holding on to memories that cause pain?
I really didn’t get it.
The other day I was scanning my Facebook feed and a post caught my attention. One of my colleagues was being featured on a super famous podcast.
That familiar cringy feeling came up again.
See, it’s not just any post that brings up my shit. It’s the posts by people I consider colleagues who are doing really well in business…
And that’s when a thought came into my head offering me the simple gift of this awareness:
“You think you should be farther along by now.”
There it is.
In an instant, I saw what I was doing to my inner child.
I’ve been doing this one to her off and on for years really. Probably lifetimes.
I was saying to her:
“No matter all you do… Now matter how hard you try, no matter what you’ve already achieved… you’ll never be good enough. You should be farther along by now. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why can’t you just be more like her or her or her? She doesn’t want anything to do with you because you’re not good enough. What is wrong with you?”
I can’t even imagine talking to one of my children that way. Or any child that way.
But I do.
I talk to her that way:
I don’t celebrate her.
I’m not proud of her.
I don’t even recognize what she’s accomplished.
So I now I get it.
And now I say to her over and over again:
Please forgive me.
I love you.
For more about Ho’oponopono join me February 23rd for a special class on using Ho’oponopono to tap into the power of your intuition. I’ll be teaching it exclusively for “The Brazen Society” members. Click here to join.
If you’re a coach and you’re thinking you should be farther along by now, tell your inner child this: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” Then download this gift I created for just you: “A Turtle Step Guide to Filling Your 1:1 Coaching Calendar.”