Give Me a Break?

by Amy on March 1, 2018

Cats don’t get offended.

Confession: I am not the best communicator. I’m blunt and I don’t take the time to explain myself or soften things.

Yet ironically, I’m as sensitive as they come— I read into everything other people say.

Which is why I’d have a very hard time having a conversation with myself. That is, if I didn’t know myself so well.

Luckily I know myself.

I know that I have a heart of gold. I wouldn’t hurt a fly (literally). I’m not judgmental and I don’t bad mouth people. Pretty universally there are good intentions behind my actions.

People who know me, understand this about me. So when I ass out socially they usually give me a pass.

But I run into problems when interacting with people who don’t know me well.

It seems I offend on a near-weekly basis.

I get it. Like I said, if I didn’t know me better I would offend myself.

Let’s face it. There are shitty people out there. There are fault-finding, grammar-correcting, fat-shaming, eye-rolling, snickering behind your back, passive aggressive or just plain aggressive assholes just waiting to identify, expose and pounce over your every last weakness, flip you off on the road and scream at you for opening your car door too close to their rental car.

I know this. Which is why I’m so damn sensitive.

Here’s the thing…. more often than not, those people were not born assholes. They are just acting like assholes because they are assuming that YOU are the asshole. See the cycle?

But sometimes I wish people would bypass their natural born instinct to assume the worst about other people and give me the fucking benefit of the doubt.

The assholes of the world make this a tall order I know…

Plus:

I can’t expect the world to give me the benefit of the doubt, if I’m not willing to do the same for the world.

Like the woman on the phone who helped me with my credit card bill…

Who rubbed me the wrong way big time at first and I assumed she was one of the assholes. Ultimately, though, after a few more minutes with her I came to see she was a good guy.

Luckily I stopped myself before turning into an asshole.

Here’s my pledge:

I, Amy, do solemnly swear to assume the best about other people first. If they screw up, I pledge to cut them some slack. I will take it as a given that, even though it didn’t come off great, they had good intentions behind their fuck up.

Let’s try it together.

You give me a break.

And I’ll give you one too.

And maybe along the way, we’ll help create a more compassionate planet.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Emmon March 1, 2018 at 4:38 pm

Now, I’m the complete opposite. I’m very empathetic & am always aware of what type responses return to me as a result of what I’ve said. I aim to see who it is Im speaking to before I speak so I have an idea of the directions the conversation may go. This allows me to not only be somewhat prepared for the disagreements to come, but also aware of what is the most effective thing to say next.

I’ve recently become more outspoken, however, no longer trying to water down my feelings of dissatisfaction, anger, hurt and the like. It’s actually empowering. What has produced the most results for me though is actually not saying much about how I feel at all; simply changing my actions to what some one says or does, especially repeated behavior that I’ve stated has not sat well with me.

You’re right I’m doing the change you’ve set out to do. I can say that because if it’s causing you to become what you truly want to be, then it can’t be wrong for you.

I love your inspirations you send me. Glad I’ve joined your email list.

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