The card I never sent

by Amy on September 21, 2016


“Oh my God! I think I’m turning into mom!”
My sisters and I used to joke.
My mom was a good sport about it 😉
Which is why I bought this card for her many Halloweens ago.


And for many Halloweens I thought I would get around to sending it to her…
Because it was true.
It was the way I really thought about turning into my mother…
And I wanted her to know that.
But each year I let the minutiae of life get in the way.
And then one November, not long after another Halloween that I didn’t send the card,
She died suddenly and unexpectedly.
I still have the card.
I put it up every Halloween now.
As a tribute to my mother.
And to remind myself to never again let the minutiae of life…
get in the way of what really matters.
Go tell someone they matter.
While there’s still time.


P.S. I’m featured this week on Andrea Owen’s Kick Ass Life Podcast. I share why I decided to stop drinking three years ago and what it means to feel like a fraud. You can check it out here.


heart divider If you liked this post, just wait til you hear my free online class called "The Fraud Factor: How to Go From ‘What if I’m not Good Enough?’ to Confident, Successful and ‘Damn I’m Good!’. Click the image below to sign up: fraud-tile-url


35 Excuses Keeping You From Being Happy

by Amy on July 27, 2016

No excuses - Just happy
No excuses. Just happy.

My mom used to call me a “malcontent.” I hated it when she called me that. But now I see that she was right. I always had a reason why I couldn’t be happy. Here are a few excuses I used to make that kept me from being happy. Chances are you’ve got a few yourself. See if you can spot your excuses in the list below. If you don’t see yours, add it in the comments below.

I can’t be happy because…

  1. My husband/friend/mother/kid isn’t happy.
  2. There’s so much suffering in the world.
  3. My kids would suffer.
  4. My family wouldn’t approve.
  5. I need to live up to my potential.
  6. I need to do something “important” with my life.
  7. I have to prove myself.
  8. I don’t deserve to be.
  9. There’s too much to do.
  10. I can’t afford it.
  11. I get more respect when I suffer.
  12. People need to know how hard I work.
  13. I haven’t lost enough weight.
  14. I haven’t met my financial goal.
  15. I’d be boring.
  16. I have to sacrifice my happiness to help others.
  17. It’s selfish.
  18. It’s frivolous.
  19. I’ll become lazy.
  20. I don’t know how.
  21. I don’t know what I like.
  22. I’m not attractive enough.
  23. I don’t fit into my jeans.
  24. I haven’t accomplished enough.
  25. I’m too accomplished.
  26. I’ve made too many mistakes.
  27. I have bad hair.
  28. I’m not as good as her.
  29. I’m not cool.
  30. The things I like aren’t cool.
  31. I don’t fit in.
  32. They don’t like me.
  33. They didn’t invite me.
  34. I need a drink to be happy.
  35. I need the right outfit.

I’ve finally proved my mom wrong. I’m not making excuses any more. I’m finally happy. How about you?


You are five.

February 25, 2015

Who were you when you were five? When I was five… I loved flowers — I vividly remember the plants from my childhood – the sunflowers in my backyard, the rose bushes by the patio, the filbert orchards and the Oregon grapes with berries you couldn’t really eat. I loved to swim – that feeling […]

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8 Life Lessons from the Game of Tennis

September 8, 2016

Yesterday I had my first ever city league tennis match. I won. Barely. By a 10-point tie-breaker (12-10). Warming up with my opponent, I was pretty sure I had her. I started strong. In fact, I was starting to feel preemptively sorry for her. Somehow managing to exhibit a ridiculous amount of arrogance while also […]

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What My Son Taught Me About Doing the Easy Thing Instead

August 24, 2016

My son just learned how to tie his shoes. He’s eight. Now, I know a lot of kids learn to tie their shoes sooner.  I personally know a few preschoolers who can. But, truthfully, it hasn’t been on my radar…what with all the Velcro these days. Plus, just like riding a bike, I figured he’d […]

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5 No-Fail Strategies to Stick With It (Even When You Feel Ridiculous)

August 10, 2016

When I was in college I wanted to be a communications major. My communications advisor, during our first meeting, asked me what I wanted to do in communications. “I’d like to report the news,” I told him. “Oh that’s not really journalism. It’s more for models.” In an instant, right then and there, I let […]

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[guest post] Why You Should Just Eat the Damn Cookie

June 29, 2016

[Note from Amy: Hope you enjoy this is a guest post by Barb Spanjers. I love her take on why bonafide grown-ups STILL don’t know how to feed themselves!] Are you as tired of these kinds of headlines as I am? Eat This! Not That! 5 Foods Never to Eat! If You Eat That Oreo, […]

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Giving Up: A Cautionary Tale

June 15, 2016

Saying goodbye to the person I thought I should be. There once was a woman who lost a mother (her number one fan) three months before becoming a mother herself. The stress of this loss and her new job as a mom forced her to finally give up trying to pretend to be something she […]

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Down in the Dumps? How to Feel Better in 30 Seconds or Less

May 18, 2016

The other day I saw a very touching exchange on Facebook between some family members. And its embarrassing to admit but, instead of being happy about it, I made it all about me. I made it mean… I’m not lovable. I don’t fit in. I’m an outsider. The same story I’ve been telling myself for […]

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How I Almost Lost My Life (And What it Taught Me About Life)

May 4, 2016

(The Deschutes) I came within minutes of drowning once. My husband and I were rafting with some friends down the Deschutes River. We were on a two-person raft. We came upon a very large boulder in the middle of the river and didn’t maneuver past it in time. So the raft floated into it, going […]

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April 20, 2016

A few months after my mom died I went to a class called “Connecting with Your Loved Ones on the Other Side.” The teacher told us to expect a sign from a loved one over the next few days. The thing is, I don’t have woo woo experiences (despite all the books I read). Never […]

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