Does Facebook Bring Up Your Shit? Try this.

by Amy on February 10, 2016


I’m not one of those people who “hates” Facebook.

I’ve never taken a break from Facebook.

I don’t take down my account only to put it back up a few months later…

I’m not worried that Facebook is threatening the social fabric of our society.

I actually really like that Facebook exists.

I like connecting with people online, all in the same place.

Finding lost friends.

Seeing pictures of people.

Sharing my life on there.

But Facebook has been bringing up my shit.


The newsfeed fills me with a sense of dread.

Certain posts make me cringe and leave me feeling deflated.

If I’m honest, it’s been going on for months.

I came across a healing modality called Ho’oponopono introduced to me (ironically) by an astrologer I learned about through a post on Facebook.

To dramatically oversimplify, the idea is to say the following whenever you feel bad:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

Everything, according to Ho’oponopono, we experience as painful in our environment is our responsibility. Every. Thing.

It’s really our memories that we hold on to that become the things we experience as painful in our environment.

Or – get this — even the pain others experience that we bump up against (A humbling thing to admit if you consider yourself a healer. It means we healers got a lot to heal in ourselves to be attracting so many people who need our help).

It’s our responsibility to dissolve any of the memories that cause pain.


I’ve been listening to an inner child meditation over the past week. “The inner child” according to Ho’oponopono is our unconscious. It’s the unconscious or inner child that holds on to the memories that cause pain in our environment.

If you want to dissolve the memories that cause pain for you and others, you have to get right with your inner child.

Acknowledge it. Give it love. Apologize for neglecting it all these years and even all these lifetimes.


I struggle with inner child stuff.

I don’t see how I’ve been that “bad” to her. I’m a life coach for christ sake. I know she’s there.

So why is she holding on to memories that cause pain?

I really didn’t get it.

The other day I was scanning my Facebook feed and a post caught my attention. One of my colleagues was being featured on a super famous podcast.

That familiar cringy feeling came up again.

See, it’s not just any post that brings up my shit. It’s the posts by people I consider colleagues who are doing really well in business…

And that’s when a thought came into my head offering me the simple gift of this awareness:

“You think you should be farther along by now.”


There it is.


In an instant, I saw what I was doing to my inner child.

I’ve been doing this one to her off and on for years really. Probably lifetimes.

I was saying to her:

“No matter all you do… Now matter how hard you try, no matter what you’ve already achieved… you’ll never be good enough. You should be farther along by now. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why can’t you just be more like her or her or her? She doesn’t want anything to do with you because you’re not good enough. What is wrong with you?”

I can’t even imagine talking to one of my children that way. Or any child that way.

But I do.

I talk to her that way:


I don’t celebrate her.
I’m not proud of her.
I don’t even recognize what she’s accomplished.

So I now I get it.

And now I say to her over and over again:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

For more about Ho’oponopono join me February 23rd for a special class on using Ho’oponopono to tap into the power of your intuition. I’ll be teaching it exclusively for “The Brazen Society” members. Click here to join.

If you’re a coach and you’re thinking you should be farther along by now, tell your inner child this: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” Then download this gift I created for just you: “A Turtle Step Guide to Filling Your 1:1 Coaching Calendar.”

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15 Signs That You May Be Self-Actualized

by Amy on January 27, 2016


DISCLAIMER: You may wonder how it is possible that someone who is not self-actualized (me) could write on this topic. As a master certified life coach let me assure you that I am, naturally, an expert on self-actualization and fully qualified to write on this topic. Plus I googled Abraham Maslow.

1. Wild Animals Flock to You

You are an endless well of stories about your incredible encounters with wild animals who appear to you, at will, while on luxurious safaris in Africa. Note: The zoo does not count. Anyone who goes to the zoo can NEVER be self-actualized.

2. Technology Breaks When You’re Around

When the computer dies or your car breaks down, you blithely explain the situation to any mere mortal within hearing range: “This happens to me all the time. My energy is really powerful.”

4. You Fill Your Programs Without Marketing

You just color for awhile, do some ecstatic dance then “call in” your clients and —BOOM — program filled.

5. Angels Follow You Around Like Star Struck Groupies

And save your ass from all sorts of shit you get yourself into because you’re too busy being self-actualized to function like a normal person in the real world.

6. You Speak and Write in a Poetic Style, Curse Regularly and Use Hashtags

In fact someone follows you around capturing all your hip and edgy wisdom in pithy one-liners that get turned into tiles and posted to Instagram. To which your followers regularly comment #girlcrush.

7. Horses Do Whatever You Say

Because, clearly, you are the energy leader. Last time you were in a round pen, you got one to do the moon walk.

8.You Don’t Have Much Use for Language Any More

Because you find yourself so often in a wordless state. (In fact, if you are reading this now —I’m sorry — but you are definitely NOT self-actualized.)

9. You Can Manifest the Weather

In fact you’ve been invited to appear live on O to manifest a comet with a rainbow sparkle tail and unicorns diving out of it. Because you can do that.

10. You Levitate

You can also astro-travel and read people’s thoughts. You see ghosts too. And you don’t mind tweeting or posting pictures of the Rebar you bend with your bare hands, because another trait of being self-actualized is that you don’t give a shit about what other people think.

11. Your Poop Doesn’t Smell

But if it did, you’d use only certified pure therapeutic grade essential oils to mask the smell.

12. You Age Backwards

You just keep getting hotter each year. It must be all that green juice and oil pulling. No matter. You have a photographer at hand at all times to document the phenomenon. They’re going to do a Netflix series about it next year.

13. But…You Don’t Watch TV

Unless it’s a really well-written BBC series.

14. You Birthed all Your Children Vaginally

(It goes without saying that if you are male you could never be self actualized.)

15. You Never Quite Fit In As a Child

Your parents secretly wondered if it was a mild case of Asperger’s or Tourette’s but now you take comfort in knowing that it’s just your superior gene pool. It’s the cross you bear.

So there you have it.

I know there were many people curious about the true characteristics of a self-actualized person. So I’m happy to clarify and expand upon the work of Maslow in this area.

If, after reading this, you discover that you are, in fact, self actualized, which would be impossible…

My research indicates that you can “resolve dichotomies such as that reflected in the ultimate paradox of freedom and determinism, the conscious and the unconscious, as well as intentionality and a lack of intentionality.”

I anticipate that if you are self-actualized you understand what this means.

As for the rest of us, we’ll just follow your posts on Instagram. #girlcrush

heart divider If you liked this post, just wait til you hear my free online class called "The Fraud Factor: How to Go From ‘What if I’m not Good Enough?’ to Confident, Successful and ‘Damn I’m Good!’. Click the image below to sign up: fraud-tile-url


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2 Years Booze-Free: Here’s What I’ve Learned

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5 Business-Killing Thoughts You Probably Didn’t Know You Have

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1. “I have to be ready.” This biz-killing thought is based on the idea that you, as is, are not good enough to start building your biz. Which is why you opt, instead, to fork out thousands of dollars for another credential, or training, or you spend months and months researching all the things you […]

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