Show Me A Successful Entrepreneur

by Amy on March 10, 2017

Show me a successful entrepreneur in the service industry and I’ll show you a person who loves themselves enough, loves the work enough to let themselves fail.

Somebody who is willing to get out there despite the possibility of bad hair, typos, toilet paper on the shoe, awkward exchanges (Them: Nice to meet you. You: I’m fine thank you.), the “advice” of well meaning family members, email messages from assholes, technology mishaps, lackluster copy, bad graphics, a crappy background, no shows or the wrong shows. And on and on and on.

I’ll show you someone who sees service in the name of love as more important than the potential loss of a friend, the potential judgement by a colleague, the potential client who wants a refund.

I’ll show you someone who can laugh at the whole thing after a good ugly cry. Who can keep going after a monumental fuck up. I’ll show you someone who loves themselves enough to know that service does not equal perfection, it is about calling BS on the excuse that success has to look a certain way and the lie that there will ever be a time when they will FEEL ready.

I’ll show you someone who accepts the truth that wherever they are now emotionally, financially, spiritually… it is enough to help another human being. Someone who loves themselves enough to understand that it isn’t about another credential or certification or course. It’s about stepping up out of respect for the gift they have and the people they can help with this gift.

You want to be a successful entrepreneur? How much do you love yourself? In the end, it all comes back to that.

P.S. I’m going to tell all about how I grew a coaching practice that actually makes money and share my favorite tools to grow the courage you need to be a huge success fast.

It’s happening on April 19, 2017. So hop on over to get your spot.

mindcluttersucks-500

 

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How to be a Winner

by Amy on March 2, 2017

Last week I beat a really good tennis player. In straight sets. 6-2, 6-2. If you don’t know tennis, I pretty much kicked her butt.

“Wow, my back was really bothering me today.”

This is all she had to say after the match. I lost to her a few months ago so I’m pretty sure she thought she was going to beat me again this time.

After her back pain comment I immediately discounted my win. In my head, this is where I went:

“Well, if she was having back pain I didn’t really ‘earn’ my win.”

Then the part of me that knows better said…

BULLSHIT.

I beat her precisely because I don’t make excuses when I lose. Back pain, gas, being on my period (BTW I was on my period that day), a cold, it doesn’t matter.

IF YOU DON’T WIN, YOU LEARN SOMETHING.

Every time I lose I figure out why. And then I work on the thing I learn so I can do better next time. This is true in tennis and it’s also true in business and in life.

Since losing to her a few months back, I’ve been working shit out. And then I won.

And here’s something else I know BECAUSE of this approach:

I will always have an edge on her and other people like her who make excuses, because I don’t. Focusing on her back pain and telling me about it after the match may have made her feel better about her loss in the moment BUT you know what she did to herself?

She effectively stunted her own growth. That’s what. Don’t take the bait, people. Every excuse you make for your failure cuts you off from winning later. It doesn’t matter how smart, athletic or business savvy you are.

Excuses will always give your opponents an edge over you.

If you lose — in tennis, in business, anywhere in life — quit whining. (I say this with love.) Figure out your responsibility in the loss or failure. Yeah you may have been dealing with back pain or some other equivalent but there is always, ALWAYS, something to learn, a way for you to take responsibility for the loss.

If that sounds scary…

Here’s why you make excuses when you lose or fail:

SHAME. You make failure about your worth as a person. It’s easier to blame it on the weather or your instructor or a case of back pain because, then, you don’t have to feel bad about yourself.

Here’s the thing I want you to get…

Failure is NOT about your worth. You have got to please STOP that. Failure, loss, mistakes, all of it! It’s life! It’s how you learn. It’s how you grow. It’s how you step into your purpose. It’s how you learn how to give back.

The biggest failure is giving up on yourself after a loss. The biggest failure is missing out on the learning opportunity that you get — it’s a gift! — after a loss.

IF YOU DON’T WIN, YOU LEARN SOMETHING.

There is nothing special about me. But I am a winner. And I will continue to win because I’m willing to lose so that I can learn from each and every loss. This is why I will always have an edge over people smarter, stronger, better, more charming, richer or more athletic than me.

#winwin.

Got shame? Try Bergamot Essential Oil on the heart.

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Be here, now

February 24, 2017

A few nights ago, my husband said something mildly stupid that hurt my feelings. I am as soft-bellied as they come. I get my feelings hurt with an astonishing frequency. It is one of the many downsides of having a moon in Scorpio. Anyway…We were in bed, my back turned against him. I was convinced […]

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Stop Expecting Them to “Get” It: Why Some Partnerships Fail

February 9, 2017

“What’s on the agenda this weekend?” My husband asks. I open up my planner. “Battle of the books in the early afternoon Saturday, then Jazmina’s Quinciniera in the eve. Then Sunday is Janina’s birthday party at the pool.” “I’m not going to that,” He says. “But…” I answer. “I work all week and I don’t […]

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How to Think When You’re Overwhelmed

February 2, 2017

  I figured out the main theme of my book. This is the theme that informs everything. It’s the big “So What?” of the book. I was talking to my friend about it the other day. She asked me if I knew the theme when I started writing. “I haven’t wanted to start my book,” […]

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Saint Ron: Why the Truth Hurts (If You Let It)

January 27, 2017

“You should be canonized for putting up with her all these years.” This was a comment made about me to my husband. The same person I blocked to escape his poisonous text messages found a way to get to me through my husband. I won’t lie. When I heard that he said this about me […]

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5 Survival Tips When You #$%^& Up

January 20, 2017

I was recently invited to play on a bad-ass women’s tennis team. Wanting to make a good impression, I volunteered right away to practice doubles with a group of women. Got a babysitter and everything. On the night of practice, I got to the tennis club ten minutes early. Nobody there… “Strange,” I thought as […]

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Setting Boundaries with Setting Boundaries

January 12, 2017

For a long time my dream was to create a successful six figure, and then multiple six figure, coaching practice. After achieving the $200,000 a year mark I considered going for $500,000 a year. I created the business plan, I had the team in place, but I never made it. “Being an entrepreneur is the most lucrative […]

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We March

November 1, 2016

She is in a dark room, there is music on the other side of the door, and voices. She is crying and afraid. She doesn’t like being in here in the dark, alone. But no one hears her crying. Then the door opens and a man looks in. She can see the outline of his […]

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The Adult Brain of a Bullied Kid

October 6, 2016

We were on a bus, heading into Portland for a field trip. It was going to be a great day. We were going to try sushi for the first time and see China town. I was in seventh grade. Sitting on the bus, the girl next to me was leaning up against the window talking across […]

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35 Excuses Keeping You From Being Happy

July 27, 2016

No excuses. Just happy. My mom used to call me a “malcontent.” I hated it when she called me that. But now I see that she was right. I always had a reason why I couldn’t be happy. Here are a few excuses I used to make that kept me from being happy. Chances are […]

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You are five.

February 25, 2015

Who were you when you were five? When I was five… I loved flowers — I vividly remember the plants from my childhood – the sunflowers in my backyard, the rose bushes by the patio, the filbert orchards and the Oregon grapes with berries you couldn’t really eat. I loved to swim – that feeling […]

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Thank you

February 17, 2017

Today I just want to thank for listening. Over the years I have spilled a lot of beans. It all started seven years ago when I told you I slapped my husband in the face with a sponge. Then, I told you another unflattering truth: I slept with my husband the day I met him. […]

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Wabisabi

December 1, 2016

My mother passed away nine years ago on November 30th at 3:07 pm. I am in the kitchen this morning. We are getting ready for the day. My mother’s collection of snowmen are on display. The kids are near ecstatic because their “elf on a sheft” aka “Elfy” came last night even though it’s not officially […]

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