Why Sensitive Women Can be Bitchy

by Amy on August 20, 2014


Guest Post by Mely Brown

Hokey Wolf was a White German Shepherd x Siberian Husky. My mate, my soul friend, my nemesis and shadow self, all rolled into one.

When he was a tiny pup, he was in a van looking down at a fully-grown German Shepherd, growling and barking.

I lifted him onto the ground. “There,” I said smugly, “now look how tiny you actually are”.

Hokey went straight for the jugular.

Later my dog trainer explained with a knowing nod, “ahhh, that’s the Shepherd in him… bite first, ask questions later.”

Bite first, ask questions later.

* * * * * * *

They say we attract our reality. I’ve had 3 dogs with intermittent anger management problems. The common denominator? Me.

I now see my tendency to overreact when overwhelmed. Lash out with my tongue when things get waaaay too much.

But how can a highly sensitive person (HSP), who naturally reflects deeply + slowly and who cares so very much about others, act so impulsively? Uncaringly?

Be such a bitch?

HSP’s are 15-20% of the population who feel things more deeply than most (physically + emotionally) — who get overstimulated easily.

But here’s the thing…

Highly sensitive people are not angels.

Many sensitive women keep stuff bottled inside. It feels unsafe to let out… They fear it might make others uncomfortable…

Bottled emotions are like a beach ball under water. At some point, it will come out – most of the time unexpectedly in one heck of a rush.

When the sensitive chooses to assert herself it can come across as unbalanced, disconnected, uncomfortable and out of character.

“How did the quiet, polite woman suddenly swing to the other extreme?”

And then the sensitive woman wonders over and over “what is wrong with me?!”

And the message she was trying to assert in the first place? It gets lost in the chaos.

Sound familiar? 

* * * * * * *

Ladies, make no mistake, those emotions you keep bottled up, keep your body trapped in a cycle of fatigue, overwhelm and extra weight (yep, stress can make your pants tight).

So here’s what I’ve learned about how you, as a highly sensitive woman, can assert yourself in a way that is powerful and authentic:

Step 1.  See With Clarity + Perspective

Make a deliberate + informed choice about how you want to respond in a situation, BY FIRST OF ALL seeing it from different angles. This is something HSPs excel at, if you allow yourself the time and space to do it (instead of reacting or getting caught up in the rush).

Step 2.  Connect In with Your Power

Bring your energy back to yourself and let go of what’s not yours; go within to ground and center yourself. Connect with your highest intention of how you want to assert yourself in this situation. “Own” your soft subtle strength and the depth of power that lies in-between words and actions. Your connection to your quiet soft determination IS your power.

Step 3.  Take Action AFTER You Get into Alignment

If that means pausing for a moment (or longer) before answering or acting, give yourself that time and space. Then when you’re ready, take inspired + grounded powerful action.

Step 4.  Allow the Results to Be, Just As It Is.

Don’t beat yourself up with “should I have done things differently?” Know that you’ve done all in your power to respond in alignment with your own truth – and then let go. Move onwards.

Trust me, when you slow down and assert yourself in a way that honors your strengths + gifts your message will gets through.

* * * * * * *

Hokey has passed over now, but the lessons he taught me remain. It’s beautiful to see my own self-growth reflected in the gentle and kind temperaments of the dogs I currently own.

Now it’s YOUR turn? Do you consider yourself highly sensitive? How does it show up in your life?  Let me know in the comments below.


Click here to get a FREE spot in Mely’s upcoming teleseminar “What am I doing wrong?! How asking the right questions will propel a sensitive woman to the right health habits” (+ you’ll also get Mely’s book as a bonus, “The 4 Areas of Self-Care for Highly Sensitive Women”).

Mely class


Mely BrownMely Brown is a chartered natural health practitioner + certified exercise lifestyle and life coach. Highly sensitive herself, her clients are sensitive women who want to have healthier habits but are confused or struggling with their self-care. She shows clients how to use her 4-step formula to speak directly in the body and brain’s own languages and tweak traditional approaches to self-care, so it does work for them + they can finally have the energy and enthusiasm to embrace doing what they love in life.


[Interview] with Abigail Steidley

by Amy on August 13, 2014

I’ve always been interested in the mind-body connection. In the heyday of my approval addiction, I struggled with “undiagnosed infertility.” Took me six years, with the help of modern technology. Then I became a coach and embarked on a healing journey that allowed me to stop needing approval and fearing rejection. I don’t think it’s an accident that baby number 3 came all on her own shortly after.

Abigail Steidley is a Master Mind-Body Coach who sees a lot of approval addicts in her work. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. We had a fascinating conversation about the connection between approval addiction and how it shows up in the body.


Today’s giveaway question: What is your body telling you today? What do you need?

Post a comment below and be entered to win a copy of Abigail’s “Let Your Soul Sing Ebook and Audio Package ($55 Value).

Click here to learn more about Abigail and get a copy of  her free ebook, “The Key to Your Healing Journey.”


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