On Being Hot…

by Amy on August 5, 2011

Ladies I’m talking about the social standard of “hotness.” If you live in the western world, you know it well. The airbrushed photos, the too thin frames, the big boobs, the perfectly proportioned eyes, lips and nose.

I used to buy into it hook, line and sinker. I used to run fast in order to match this ideal. I used to think everything would be well in my world if I could Just. Look. Hot. Enough.

But there is never an “enough” is there when it comes to this game? There is always more weight to lose. There are always more cosmetics to buy. There are always more diets to try. And more clothes to buy. Teeth must be whiter. Boobs perkier. Stomach flatter. The diet industry knows this. The fashion industry understands this. The plastic surgeons are well aware.

I could have just bucked the system. Gone the opposite extreme. Poked large holes in my earlobes, dyed my hair purple, said what the hell and gained 25 pounds. But this reaction even though it is against a dangerous and demeaning cultural standard – one that distracts women from their own true power – is still  fueled by the social self.

Taking on the opposite qualities of the cultural standard isn’t any more enlightened then chasing after hot. Either way you disconnect from Who You Really Are. The point is not to say that purple hair is bad or cosmetic surgery is bad. The point is to say that if you’re getting your boobs done because you think your world would be better or you are piercing your nipple as a reaction to an unjust cultural standard you are still letting your social self drive the car.

Once I stopped giving all my power away to a ridiculous cultural standard, I learned how to appropriate the word for myself. I now am an endlessly fascinating amalgam of unique qualities that make me 100 percent hot on my own terms.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

rebecca @ altared spaces August 8, 2011 at 11:39 am

A great post about a topic that is unending. I think for a moment I’ve wrestled it to the ground and then I look in the mirror and I see the bulge I’d rather flatten than love. It’s a process, but one worth pursuing.


Delaram Adyani February 25, 2013 at 4:29 am

Am interested to know which ‘qualities of the soul’, i.e virtues, make each of us ‘hot’ and ‘unique’? A list can be found at http://www.virtuesproject.com/Pdf/100Virtueshandout.pdf

“Love. Kindness. Justice. Service. Virtues are the very meaning and purpose of our lives, the content of our character and the truest expression of our souls. For people of all cultures, ethnicities and beliefs, they are the essence of authentic success.

Virtue means power, strength, inner quality. Virtues are the content of our character, the elements of the human spirit. They grow stronger whenever we use them. As a six year old once said, “Virtues are what’s good about us.”

I am ‘kind, beautful, respectful, and generous’… and that makes ME ‘hot! on my own terms! LOVE, Delaram


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