What Motivates YOU?

by Amy on October 24, 2019

About five years ago I signed up for a very expensive business mastermind. Like very expensive. Like 20 grand expensive.

I got one on one time with a really charismatic and successful mentor and travelled to NYC several times a year to learn from this mentor with others in the mastermind.

And you know what? It was really, really helpful.

I learned a lot but more importantly I accomplished a lot.

One of the reasons I accomplished so much was because I was EXTREMELY motivated to see a return on my investment.

The other reason I accomplished so much was because I was an approval whore. I wanted to impress my mentor and the others in my mastermind. Yep I wanted them all to approve of me.

This strategy works for a lot of people. It’s a simple formula. Pay someone charismatic and accomplished who you put on a pedestal a massive amount of coin to help you then work your ass off trying to prove yourself to this person and prove to yourself that didn’t spend all that money for nothing.

Look, no judgement. I’ve done it too many times to count, with definite results.

It reminds me of someone I know and love who will go nameless…

He likes to go to Vegas with his friends a couple times a year.

It’s essentially a very expensive and involved weight loss strategy.

And it NEVER fails. As soon as he books the trip and the room, he hits the gym.

Turns out, for some, the prospect of pool time among the young and beautiful is a fabulous way to motivate oneself to move more and eat less.

Come to think of it, maybe this is why high school reunions exist… anyway…

The formula is the same. Fork out money for a trip where people will see you half naked or pass judgement on how well you are aging. That’ll get you on the elliptical fast.

The benefit of this strategy is that the more coin you drop, the more fire under your ass to get shit done. After all, the key to success is simple, do something and don’t stop until you reach your goal.

The other benefit is this:

While you are busy seeking the approval of your mentor, you are also gaining knowledge you otherwise wouldn’t have access to and because you are FINALLY taking action, you are using this knowledge as opposed to taking more classes or signing up for more trainings without actually doing anything.

A lot of coaches justify charging massive amounts of money for their programs because of this.

And I totally get it. As a coach there is nothing worse than knowing your clients are using your content as another procrastination decoy.

Another benefit of this strategy is the other people you get to know through the group. You essentially pay for access to smart people who will support you for years to come.

But there are problems with this “success” strategy as well:

1. It’s expensive! A lot of people do see a return on investment but, frankly, a lot of people don’t.
2. It’s not sustainable. What happens after the program is complete and the charismatic mentor goes away? Or your trip to Vegas is over? If you rely on a mentor to hold you accountable and motivate you, or the judgment of swarms of hot people at a pool, you’re out of luck when the program or the trip expires.

The biggest problem with this approach is this:

YOU NEVER LEARN HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF.

In my industry a lot of mentors bank on the fact that there will be a constant supply of entrepreneurs who are looking for masterminds and a lot of mastermind members who will renew.

Which is fine… Do whatever works!

But…

What if you could learn how to motivate yourself?

What if you loved yourself so automatically that you didn’t need the approval of someone you put on a pedestal?

What if you could be your own damn mentor?

These are skills that NEVER expire.

Ladies listen up…

I’m offering group coaching to a small number of women who want to learn how to find motivation within, learn the lifelong skill of automatic self-love and how to access an inner mentor who will rival any of the most charismatic and successful ones out there.

All for an investment that is so so so doable. Because I don’t want the fear of not getting back your investment to be your motivation.

On top of that, you will receive access to incredible women who will support you for years and years to come.

I am interviewing candidates over the next few weeks.

If you’d like to set up a call to see if this is a fit, send me a direct message or email me at pearson.amy@gmail.com.

AND if you’re intrigued by the idea of motivation from within, make sure you’re on my email list. I’m going to be teaching a free class Wednesday the 30th.

You can sign up for the class and get on my list here:

https://livebrazen.lpages.co/everyday-mind-clutter/

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It’s scary. Do it anyway.

by Amy on October 10, 2019

Confession:

When I first started my coaching practice, I secretly hoped my clients would cancel.

I was scared…

I wouldn’t say the “right” thing.
I wouldn’t be able to help.
I wouldn’t know what tool to use.

I got on the phone anyway.

After I became a master coach, I was invited to teach life coaching cadets.
I was honored. I was thrilled. And… I didn’t want to do it. I dreaded getting on the phone with those cadets to teach them.

What if I was a terrible trainer?
What if someone asks me something I didn’t know?
What if they all hated me?

I did it anyway.

Even marketing my own coaching services terrified me. I didn’t want to send a single email.

What if no one signs up?
What if somebody calls me salesy?
What if someone sends me something rude in response?

I had a virtual assistant who sent them for me. Or I would have probably never sent the emails.

The truth is I don’t always say the “right” things, sometimes I don’t have an answer when someone asks me a question, and I have received many a rude email in response to mine.

It happens.

But I also started loving my coaching sessions. I became a confident trainer. I filled my coaching programs a grew a community of thousands who read my work.

What I learned is this:

There is no way around it.

Doing new things is scary.

Your mind will remind you of all the ways it could go wrong.

And sometimes your mind will be right.

But if you want to get to the other side… the side where you are comfortable, you are confident, you have clients and income and all kinds of new opportunities…

You have to be scared and you have to do it anyway.

If you expect it to feel good before you do it. You’ll never do it.
If you want be comfortable before you do it. You’ll never do it.
If you wait until you feel ready. You’ll never do it.

And if you tell yourself it’s gotta go perfectly. It won’t.

It will never be comfortable.
It will always be scary.
You will never feel ready.

And I guarantee you, it will NOT go perfectly.

Do it anyway.

If you need some support around that, group coaching starts in November. Email me: pearson.amy@gmail.com!

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Who are you surrounded by?

October 2, 2019

I was born into a chaotic household. My parents were addicts. My three older sisters were teenagers, barely supervised, who were expected to take care of me and eventually my little brother who was born a few years later. My mom called herself a functional drunk. She was usually at work. I don’t really have […]

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How to Turn Your Anxiety into a Superpower

October 2, 2019

The other day I made tentative plans with a friend to do something over the weekend. The day before, I realized I had to do some “momming” (this is my new word for running around like a decapitated chicken trying to get kids places on time), so I texted her to cancel. Silence. I didn’t […]

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I forgot

September 26, 2019

I was listening to an audiobook the other day. It’s called The Bright Hour: A Memoir of Living and Dying by Nina Riggs. “One small spot,” the doctors said. That’s how it all started. It hasn’t been an easy read. I lost my mother to complications related to breast cancer. It’s bringing up a lot […]

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Just one sentence

September 17, 2019

Money, and budgeting in particular, is not one of my strong suits. Like a dysfunctional friend, I want money to be there for me without putting any work into the relationship. I want to be a better friend to money. Kumiko over at The Budget Mom is helping me, via her blog. I’m learning how […]

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Success has no choice in the matter

September 10, 2019

This is my daughter Joy. This summer she moved to a new town, leaving all her BFF’s (and she had a lot) and her beloved neighbors, not to mention her “second mother” aka our nanny and one of my BFF’s, Maria. All this after breaking her arm in two places just a few days before […]

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Bring back scarcity thinking!

September 10, 2019

The other day I used cash to purchase my groceries. I was a little embarrassed about it. But I get groceries at Shop n Kart. And anything goes there. I often see people strolling in and out with no shoes or shirt. It’s not unusual to see somebody meditating in the crystals section (yes there’s […]

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Vulnerability Bloopers

August 29, 2019

Hey. It’s been a while. This is me after my haircut yesterday in which the stylist curled my hair in a way that I will NEVER be able to replicate. Anyway, I have a good excuse for my absence… I didn’t feel like working. First of all, this summer was epic. We went from big […]

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Are you a failure?

April 18, 2019

Many of you know about my essential oil obsession… Well announcement: I’m not selling them anymore. To achieve the level of success I wanted, I’d have to put a whole lot more time and attention into the business. Time and attention, I’m not willing to give. You could say I failed at my essential oil […]

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It’ll get better

April 11, 2019

Guys, I’ve been having a hard time. I got in a big fight (really big) with my spouse, I caught a terrible cold, we are dealing some HUGE life changes that I will say more about later and I’m just generally feeling a lot of anxiety… So I’m pretty much writing this for myself. But […]

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Reacting versus Responding

March 8, 2019

The other day as I was driving home, I noticed an urgent craving for chocolate covered malt balls. The feeling came quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. Full disclosure, I’ve been eating a lot of maltballs over the past two weeks. Even though my face breaks out, even though it messes up my sleep. I […]

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I’ve Gone Full Granola

January 25, 2019

Just over five years ago I stopped drinking alcohol. What I didn’t anticipate was how much my life would change. One tiny change turned out to be a tidal wave. I lost weight. My sugar cravings went away. I started to exercise more. I STARTED PLAYING TENNIS AGAIN!!! I dealt with a lot of emotional […]

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To the dreamers…

January 10, 2019

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a gymnast. I remember watching the Summer Olympics and seeing those athletes launching through the air on the uneven bars or bounding through a floor routine. The sight of them filled me with awe and a yearning. But my parents didn’t have the extra cash […]

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New year, no goals

January 3, 2019

Happy 2019! New Year, no goals… I’m going to do that thing where I look back at 2018, the highs and the lows, then talk about what I want to experience in 2019 (maybe not in that particular order). But first let me just say that my attitude towards goals has changed. I like to […]

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My Inner Rudy

December 14, 2018

“Sometimes a winner is a dreamer who just won’t quit.” – from the Rudy trailer I’ve been thinking about the movie Rudy. Do you remember it? Since he was a kid, Rudy dreamed of playing football for Notre Dame. Being on the small side though, everyone (especially his Dad) told him it was impossible. I […]

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Back to Square One

October 11, 2018

Last week I wrote about my latest bout of depression.   I mentioned I had a theory about what led up to it…   But first you need to know about The Change Cycle. Martha Beck writes about it in Finding Your Own North Star, the book that, ironically, rescued me after a particularly nasty […]

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Where did Amy go? Part 3

September 27, 2018

It’s me again.   This is a blog post about mental illness.   I’m no expert on mental illness.   I’ll just write from my own experience.   I could keep tossing euphemisms against the wall.   The blahs, the blues… But let’s just call a spade a spade? Depression fucking sucks.   I’ve struggled […]

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Where did Amy go? Part 2

September 13, 2018

Last week I mentioned I’ve been marinating in the blahs… I blamed the stars, well Mars Retrograde to be exact. Yeah well, that *might* not be the whole story. You see I’ve been working on a memoir. You know that long term project you start that you *think* might take a year or so? Well […]

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Where did Amy go? Part 1

September 6, 2018

Two words . Mars retrograde. Like you, my energy fluctuates. At times it feels like I have endless reserves. Other times, it feels like I can barely get out of bed. Lately, well since May if we’re honest, I’ve been feeling blah. Yes, blah. THE WORST KIND OF BLAH. The kind where you are grumpy and jaded […]

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You Unsegmented

May 31, 2018

I love Astrology. Once, several years ago, I started an astrology website with my friend, an astrologer, Dena DeCastro. But I didn’t want people to know. Especially my coaching clients or the people who subscribed to my newsletter. “What should I do?” I asked my life coach. “I don’t want people to think I’m woo […]

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“You Think Too Much.”

April 6, 2018

“You Think Too Much.” I get this a lot. And, frankly, I find it irritating. What else am I supposed to do? I have a brain, therefore I think. I get it…I’m supposed to listen to my heart. It will steer me in the best direction. In some ways I’m the opposite of an over […]

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WARNING: Having a Dream May Lead to Massive Disappointment

March 30, 2018

I keep thinking about a conversation I had years ago with a woman working in the registrar’s office of my college. I was ordering transcripts for an application to work in Japan as an English teacher. She wanted to know what I was working on. “I’m applying for the JET Programme with my husband,” I […]

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Give Me a Break?

March 1, 2018

Confession: I am not the best communicator. I’m blunt and I don’t take the time to explain myself or soften things. Yet ironically, I’m as sensitive as they come— I read into everything other people say. Which is why I’d have a very hard time having a conversation with myself. That is, if I didn’t […]

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Fake Joy or Real Joy?

February 9, 2018

After I stopped drinking, I developed an obsession with dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe’s. I’d buy a huge container of them and eat the whole thing in a couple days. I would drive to TJ’s just for the peanut butter cups, nothing else… I’d get a rush eating the initial few on […]

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Last Week was a Train Wreck

January 25, 2018

Last week was a train wreck… I lost my brand new t-shirt the day it came in the mail. I tried it on then it promptly disappeared. After an exhaustive search, I did not locate my new shirt. Gone. Without a trace. Then I completely spaced a meeting. I confirmed it the day before, even […]

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21 Essentials for a High Vibe, Happy Life

January 18, 2018

I have to tell you, I’ve been pretty happy these days. So damn happy that I haven’t had much to blog about. As you know, if you’ve been following me for a bit, this hasn’t always been the case. So I started to think about the things that have contributed to this new found, happy vibe. […]

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New Year, Same You

January 5, 2018

Happy New Year! I’m not going to lie, I love self help new year rhetoric. Vision board? Check. New Planner? Purchased. Word of the Year? Pondering. And yes, I have completed a list of goals, each goal nested within a A/B decision tree of contingency micro goals, complete with an exhaustive list of behavioral and […]

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Meet Alice

November 29, 2017

This is my daughter Alice. Most people nowadays think she is a he. When she introduces herself as Alice, they think she is saying “Alex.” One day early in the school year, a bunch of older girls laughed at her for going into the girl’s bathroom. “Look!” they said. “There’s a boy using the girls […]

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What is Your Genius?

November 3, 2017

Wednesday was my four year sober anniversary. I was never a stereotypical “drunk.” But I loved to fill my free time with activities centered around drinking. Having wine at the end of the day, going to Happy Hour, Getting drinks with friends. I used to think I needed it to have a good time.Giving up […]

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My Double Life

October 5, 2017

I found some photos of me posing in my underwear. From twenty five years ago. We were living in Los Angeles. Our neighbors were working actors. We’d see them on TV. He had a co-starring role in Beverly Hills 90210. Once they told me I could get work doing beer commercials. As a femenist the […]

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For Better of For Worse

September 15, 2017

This morning my daughter went MIA before school. We only had 10 minutes left before it was time to leave for the bus and she still hadn’t finished her homework, eaten any breakfast, brushed her teeth or put on her shoes. I found her outside barefoot with some neighbor friends playing with a remote control […]

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What They Don’t Tell You About Spin Class

September 6, 2017

I remember the first ever time I walked into a Burn Cycle class. My friend invited me to go with her… “First time?” She asked. “Yes…” I replied. That’s when she raised her eyebrows and gave me an ominous look that said sarcastically, “good luck.” Just getting on the bike itself seemed to require a […]

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The Great Time Blocking Experiment

August 8, 2017

  God this is a boring topic. But I just have to because so many of you are suffering like I was suffering. It’s summer. The sky is blue. The kids are home. I just got the Tennis Channel. It’s so hard to get anything done! I’m definitely not as ambitious as I once was. […]

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Chronic Sleep Deprivation — I had no idea!

June 8, 2017

It is said that If you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out. But if you put that same frog in warm water and slowly heat it to boiling, the frog won’t notice the danger and it will boil to death. For years I have had to get up multiple times at […]

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An Open Letter to Introverts (From an Introvert)

May 18, 2017

  It all started in grade school. I couldn’t figure it out. Why did all the other girls get so giddy over slumber parties?   I hated them.   Most of the time I would go anyway and pretend to be having fun until I couldn’t stand it any longer. Then I would either retreat […]

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14,000 Things

May 12, 2017

Yesterday Ron’s sister would have been forty years old. She was killed in a car accident when she was 21. I happened to be talking to a friend yesterday who has brain cancer. The meds are hard on her. “But you know what,” she said to me, “I am so happy to be alive. I […]

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When the doer cannot do

April 14, 2017

It’s Thursday. I have had the flu all week. And today I learned I have a bladder infection too. Bonus! I cancelled a tennis match, a podcast interview, three tennis lessons (two for me and one for my kids), missed an entire week of jiujitsu because I couldn’t drive the kids, skipped the Facebook Live […]

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God, Source, Spirit, The Angels, The Muses…

April 6, 2017

I am driving down Broadway Boulevard. It is Summer 2008. The twins are about six months old. Looking through the rearview window, I see them strapped into their car seats. As usual, Anthony is not happy. He is doing that thing he does before an all out crying fit. Alice is looking at me. Her […]

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Show Me A Successful Entrepreneur

March 10, 2017

Show me a successful entrepreneur in the service industry and I’ll show you a person who loves themselves enough, loves the work enough to let themselves fail. Somebody who is willing to get out there despite the possibility of bad hair, typos, toilet paper on the shoe, awkward exchanges (Them: Nice to meet you. You: […]

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How to be a Winner

March 2, 2017

Last week I beat a really good tennis player. In straight sets. 6-2, 6-2. If you don’t know tennis, I pretty much kicked her butt. “Wow, my back was really bothering me today.” This is all she had to say after the match. I lost to her a few months ago so I’m pretty sure […]

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Be here, now

February 24, 2017

A few nights ago, my husband said something mildly stupid that hurt my feelings. I am as soft-bellied as they come. I get my feelings hurt with an astonishing frequency. It is one of the many downsides of having a moon in Scorpio. Anyway…We were in bed, my back turned against him. I was convinced […]

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Stop Expecting Them to “Get” It: Why Some Partnerships Fail

February 9, 2017

“What’s on the agenda this weekend?” My husband asks. I open up my planner. “Battle of the books in the early afternoon Saturday, then Jazmina’s Quinciniera in the eve. Then Sunday is Janina’s birthday party at the pool.” “I’m not going to that,” He says. “But…” I answer. “I work all week and I don’t […]

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How to Think When You’re Overwhelmed

February 2, 2017

  I figured out the main theme of my book. This is the theme that informs everything. It’s the big “So What?” of the book. I was talking to my friend about it the other day. She asked me if I knew the theme when I started writing. “I haven’t wanted to start my book,” […]

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Saint Ron: Why the Truth Hurts (If You Let It)

January 27, 2017

“You should be canonized for putting up with her all these years.” This was a comment made about me to my husband. The same person I blocked to escape his poisonous text messages found a way to get to me through my husband. I won’t lie. When I heard that he said this about me […]

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5 Survival Tips When You #$%^& Up

January 20, 2017

I was recently invited to play on a bad-ass women’s tennis team. Wanting to make a good impression, I volunteered right away to practice doubles with a group of women. Got a babysitter and everything. On the night of practice, I got to the tennis club ten minutes early. Nobody there… “Strange,” I thought as […]

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Setting Boundaries with Setting Boundaries

January 12, 2017

For a long time my dream was to create a successful six figure, and then multiple six figure, coaching practice. After achieving the $200,000 a year mark I considered going for $500,000 a year. I created the business plan, I had the team in place, but I never made it. “Being an entrepreneur is the most lucrative […]

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We March

November 1, 2016

She is in a dark room, there is music on the other side of the door, and voices. She is crying and afraid. She doesn’t like being in here in the dark, alone. But no one hears her crying. Then the door opens and a man looks in. She can see the outline of his […]

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The Adult Brain of a Bullied Kid

October 6, 2016

We were on a bus, heading into Portland for a field trip. It was going to be a great day. We were going to try sushi for the first time and see China town. I was in seventh grade. Sitting on the bus, the girl next to me was leaning up against the window talking across […]

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35 Excuses Keeping You From Being Happy

July 27, 2016

No excuses. Just happy. My mom used to call me a “malcontent.” I hated it when she called me that. But now I see that she was right. I always had a reason why I couldn’t be happy. Here are a few excuses I used to make that kept me from being happy. Chances are […]

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You are five.

February 25, 2015

Who were you when you were five? When I was five… I loved flowers — I vividly remember the plants from my childhood – the sunflowers in my backyard, the rose bushes by the patio, the filbert orchards and the Oregon grapes with berries you couldn’t really eat. I loved to swim – that feeling […]

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Name it

October 16, 2019

I would like to be a New York Times Bestselling author. There I said it. Several things go through my mind as I admit this in public… I think about the experts who say it’s next to impossible to do so. I imagine them reading this post…I can see the glow of their laptops reflecting […]

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